physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize