remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
