I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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