You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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