I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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