I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
