what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
