And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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