He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
