fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's shark week go big or go home
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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