Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
