sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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