lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
