her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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