I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
