What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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