omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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