i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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