I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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