Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
