What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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