Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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