you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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