Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
