I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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