okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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