i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Enjoy the penises
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
