How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
MIDGETS
????
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
