Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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