btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize