Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So much Jack, so little girl.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
