i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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