so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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