fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
