Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
