So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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