Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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