shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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