No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
