32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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