i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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