she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
