I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
