Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
