the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
