you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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