their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
