Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
