did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
