I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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