Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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