So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
