I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
