And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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