There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
