i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
