Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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