at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
