And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
