Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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