forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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