I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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