my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
