It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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