I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
