Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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