I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
