Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
