I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
