Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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