I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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