The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
