Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
